This aching pressure inside
my eyes — this dull, persistent pain.
I linger over it and luxuriate,
hoping for relief but hoping
at the same time
that it will never come,
lingering: a thought
that cannot be forgotten
regardless of disease of age
of braincells perhaps killed by alcoholic
beverages adult beverages
of memory killing medicines or drugs
or pills that hope
to make you someone
other than you.
Memory is identity
some scientists say
and thoughts say some philosophers
drinking coffee from stained cups
replaying the memories
they cannot abandon either.
another american childhood 
its beautiful